"Ooh shiny."

Relieved...

After receiving that letter this morning, I was as you might expect in a total flap. This being Wednesday I'm usually in Stoke with Master, and I departed thence today, I needed to not be alone as you may well expect.

As always I updated him about my week, and this morning's post. The letter was dated yesterday and sent out first class, so he could see very well why I was in a flap. On my behalf he phoned the hospital and it seems that I should not have received it as it pertains to the original, but brought forwards appointment.

That panic over, still not happy about the attitude of the registrar though.

Thanks for all the support, I really do appreciate it.

Alice.

Seven am…

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG…

Urgh. Brutally dragged into wakefulness by the alarm, felt like I hadn't slept at all. Crawled out of bed and staggered off to the loo, narrowly missing going base over apex backwards down the stairs. Once morning ablutions had been performed and I felt awake enough to tackle the stairs I staggered off to the kitchen to discover that yes I really should have gone and found UHT soy milk somewhere yesterday evening as there wasn't enough for cornflakes, so Tea! and Toast! it was. Failed to burn the toast this morning unlike Monday.

Wits collected I was out of the door by 9am and heading for the bus stop in town via the docs, where I was going to drop off a repeat script request. Somehow and don't ask me how, I discovered I couldn't get from the docs to the bus stop in time to catch the 9:30 to the hospital, I should have had loads of time. This folks is one of the reasons I'm paranoid about being late – I loose time here and there occasionally. This did give me the opportunity to phone Lisa, the specialist nurse, over some sporadic mild haemorrhaging.

Lisa: "Do you know your hospital number off hand?"
Alice: *quotes number without thinking about it*

Sat on the slightly damp grass opposite M&S while I did so, the outcome of that is another trip down to clinic for an examination at the 'delicate' hands of Phil or James. My legs are firmly crossed in anticipation of meeting the old "duck bill" again. I was surprised at how dry the grass was as it had really lashed it down with rain as I was getting ready for bed last night. Once I'd phoned Lisa and popped into the greengrocer's for an apple – at 29p cheaper and better for me than chocolate. I wandered in the general direction of the bus stop, with plenty of time. Disposing of the apple core in a bin on Applemarket Street.

Got to the hospital with 30 minutes to go before my appointment so went to get a coffee.
Me: "Do you have soya milk?" *being a hospital I expected a yes*
Server: "No, we don't do anything lactose free just ordinary milk." *she recognised why someone might ask for soya which was good at least*
Me: "Um. Black coffee then please"

I'm tempted to write to the hospital about the lack of lactose free 'milk' in the coffee bar. If it was a greasy spoon I'd not expect lactose free stuff, but it's a hospital FFS.

Sat and drank the coffee, and following a quick loo stop off to book in at the out-patient reception.
"Down the corridor to Bay E"
Reports to the reception desk in Bay E, and was told take a seat and that I'd be seen by the registrar. I'd barely had time to sit down, in fact my leg muscles were still in tension from the act of sitting when I was called. I think that may have annoyed others waiting to be seen. Into cubicle and told "top off and put on this gown, and the registrar will be through in a moment" by a nurse. A couple of minutes later he came through. After a brief chat, and a run through of currently being treated conditions including it seems high blood pressure (which is news to me!). Something I need to speak to my GP about as I refused medical treatment for preferring to deal with it through diet and it's been worst case 135/90 for the last 4 years. Heck when diagnosed I was in severe pain and 19st (266lbs, ~120kg) both of which are recognised to be counter-productive.

Anyway, after a look and a feel he decided that it was all likely to be hormonal, and that I should just go home. After stressing that there has been no change to my HRT regime for a year, and that there'd been nothing like this unilateral lump *ever*, not even when I'd had a mild unilateral case of mastitis, he went and got the consultant. The consultant after examining me decided that an ultrasound was appropriate and that should it be clean a follow-up appointment in 6 weeks. If it wasn't clean that is, cyst or other shadows then further tests would be necessary.

Why is it always "It's just your hormones, now go away" from some doctors?

I was then sent with paperwork to the Breast Screening Unit, where along I ended up waiting some 45 minutes (karma that was) to be seen. The doctor there was reassuring (something the registrar failed at) but matter of fact. The lump doesn't show on ultrasound, and she is fairly certain that it's nothing to worry about. Then it was back to outpatient reception and a follow-up booked for the middle of August. One thing the consultant did say was if it got bigger, he might suggest medication to reduce the effect of oestradiol on breast tissue. That though has a side effect that is likely to shrink my bewbs. Now as they are an important part of my self image (and lets be honest they in't that big to start with I'd likely end up flat chested. No way no how can that happen and I feel that if prescribed that medication I'd not take it preferring to stick with a lumpy bewb.

No picspam as too tired to sort an image out today.

Alice.

Ok. So. Over the last few weeks righty's lump has not gone away, if anything it has got a little bigger. That though is not the main worry, it has in the last few days started to seep bloody fluid from time to time. I therefore made an appointment to see the same doc as I saw when I took lumpy there the first time.

The verdict? Well there isn't one. When I mentioned the blood, there was a look of concern and I was asked whether there is a history of breast problems in the family. I am being referred to the breast clinic, and I should hear something from the surgery this afternoon in respect of that referral.

This, of course, doesn't do much to help my anxiety. Ah well, at least there is valium.

After visiting the docs I went and attempted to sink some ducks with stale bread. Not white bread, never white bread, but bread that is full of soya seeds and linseed so they will get some nourishment out of it. It's amazing how you start with 2 ducks, 10 seconds later there are 6, and within a minute there seem to be every duck from miles around. And the moorhens come to join the fun, grab a bit of bread then make a rapid exit before a mallard beats them up for it.

[12:17] ETA: have appointment at breast clinic on 9/Jul, which is earliest available appointment.