Heh...

[alicephilippa]

There seems to have been an increase in letters touting for business from estate agents recently, but this quote from one is a pure gem:

"...Further to the two recent letters you will have received from me I notice you are still for sale...

...we look forward to helping you move..."

It should be noted that whilst the letter possesses a return address, they have also failed to include the business name in it. So, I feel like responding:

Dear Ms Xxxx Xxxxxx,

I am sorry to say that I haven't received your previous two letters, perhaps you sent them to someone else. Be that as it may, it behoves me to point out that I am not for sale and neither is my house. Should I wish to move in the future, I will be selecting an estate agent that, unlike yourself, demonstrates a modicum of competence.

Yours...

Alice.

Comments

[nerdware.livejournal.com]

Go for it.

Do you think she'd get the point?

[jessie-c.livejournal.com]

Dear ms Xxxxxx,

Thank you for helping to narrow down my choice of Estate Agent for the hypothetical sale of my house. Please be assured that in the eventuality I do consider selling my house, you will remain on my shortlist of agents to never consider under any circumstances.

Thank you for never again doing business with me.

Yours sincerely,
A

[etriganuk.livejournal.com]

My favourite:

sent to the manager of the place (find it out)

Dear nameOfManager,

I enclose a letter recently sent to me by, I assume, one of your competitors. I do not believe that a reputable organisation such as yourselves would allow such a letter - both grammatically and factually incorrect - give such a poor impression of your company to potential future clients.

Have you made anyone redundant recently? Might they have gone to a competitor and taken some of your headed stationery?

I await with interest to any comments you may wish to make to me on this matter.

Yours

etc...

[jezza1956.myopenid.com (from livejournal.com)]

Might well be an investor looking to buy privately rather than an estate agent. It's a very common way to find motivated sellers who will be happy to sell below market value in return for speed and certainty.

[alicephilippa.livejournal.com]

I recognised the logo as belonging to one of the local estate agents.

Alice.